Sunday, April 29, 2007

A letter and a suspicious lieutenant

Zoe crept inside and closed the door behind her with a barely discernible thump. Dropping into a crouch, she eased her way down the hall, glad for the cover of the shadows. She held her breath and listened intently, positioning herself just outside the doorframe. Cautiously she glanced into the room.

Tancred contemptuously shook off the hold of the man who restrained him and took a slight step forward, crossing his arms. “Who your spokesman?” he questioned loudly, scanning the men around him with ice-cold eyes. “What is the meaning of this intrusion?”

“You might call me the spokesman,” one of the men replied, stepping forward and staring directly at Tancred. “You may address me as Lieutenant Montel.”

~~~~~

Read what happens next. Don't forget to comment, or else. ;)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

threat

At last Meronane stood. He was a tall man, powerfully built and broad. His cloak fell across his shoulders as he stood, encasing him. He lifted his hands. A long knife, encased in a wine-red leather sheath, was in them. He pulled the sheath away slowly, revealing its sharp edge and curving beauty. Twelve torches flickered in the hands of their carriers, reflecting in the blade.

“It is time,” Meronane said.


* * *

Chapter 14 of Taerith has been posted. Check it out, and leave comments!

Monday, April 23, 2007

I feel like leaving a couple little notes...so here they are:

I know I said on my previous note on this page that I had changed the end of Chaper 10. Well...I never actually did; I must have gotton distracted or something :) So I just now changed it. Nothing is different except that I took out the last sentence that included the almost-too-cheesy cliffhanger ending. Chapter 12 is hopefully coming sometime soon, I have the first paragraph written :)

Now, a note to all of our silent guests :)

I know that we have more regular readers than those who typically comment on our respective stories, and I want to encourage you to let us know what you think of each chapter. For example, when I post a new chapter, it is not my final version. I may not even be completely happy with it (which actually happens quite often) but may not quite know what to change. It is helpful to get feedback from lots of different people who may have a different perspective on what the problem might be. Please let us know if you spot inconsistancies, factual errors, cheesy lines like the one I just took out of Chapter 10, a confusing passage that you have read over 10 times and still don't understand, grammatical/spelling/language errors, etc.

I can only speak for myself, but if you have suggestions for what you think might make my story better, drop a quick comment! If you just don't like my story and think it is rubbish, I probably won't start over from scratch, but I will listen and mull over any ideas on what you think might make it better. I'm a beginner, not a professional, and have no delusions of grandeur; none of us will take offense at a kind suggestion or comment.

Good night for now...I must go work on a paper for my college art class; the kind of writing I could do without :) I would much rather be expanding upon that first paragraph of Chapter 12...

Rachel Brewer
"Daelia"

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

She pokes her head out of hibernation...

...and then goes back. Aquila has posted chapters 5 and 6 but her author is leaving for three weeks! Please read and leave me comments!

Labels:

ambush

The road wound its way through scrub and open fields. The thick forest lay behind them. In the rise and fall of the rocky terrain there were many places for men to hide and many places for a horse to twist its leg and fall. The land made Taerith uneasy. He rode with a frown, listening. Nothing met his ears but the clop of hooves, yet the smell—sharp and cloying—was unmistakable.

He dismounted suddenly. He left the road, stepping slowly and lightly over the frostbitten ground. A line of boulders rose up to meet him. The first had a natural ledge in its side; he stepped up and peered over. His heart beat faster. What had looked from the road like shadows from the boulders was in fact a ravine, plunging some seven feet down. Directly below him he could make out the shape of an animal carcass—the source of the smell.

He turned his head west, eyes following the ravine as it paralleled the road. It only took him a minute to see them. At least six men, long dark hair bound in braids, huddled in a knot of bare skin and animal furs where the ravine widened. Borden had just reached the point in the row directly opposite them.


* * *


Chapter Thirteen of Taerith is up. Go, read, comment.

Monday, April 16, 2007

departure

Taerith leaves the castle behind to face the threat in the north... while Mirian and Lilia face a new challenge of their own.

Chapter 12 of Taerith is up. Go, read, comment.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

a storm breaks

She was rounding the last bit of staircase when she nearly tripped over the man: an unfamiliar man of average height and build, skulking at the bottom of the steps. He took in her collar with a glance, and anger darkened his face. "Watch your step, slave," he snapped.

She nearly snapped back. Instead, she took him in with a cold glance and demanded, "What are you doing here? These are private quarters."

He took a menacing step closer to her. "Why do you think I would answer the likes of you?"

Her eyes blazed in response, and she drew herself up with such presence that the man took a step back again. "I am the queen's personal attendant," she said. "You will answer me, or answer to her."

"I'm a guest at the feast," the man said. His voice was still surly, still threatening, but Mirian heard the loss of confidence beneath it. "The night was cold; I found shelter where I could take it."

"You cannot take it here," Mirian said. "Get out."

The man's lip curled, and he spat on the floor at her feet. Without another word, he stalked off.

She watched him go, frowning. The pain in her arm was nearly forgotten, but her hand wandered to the elbow and she found herself rubbing it without thought. Suddenly, warm fingers closed over her arm. She whirled around, ready for anything.

* * *

Chapter Eleven of Taerith has been posted. Go, read, leave comments.

Friday, April 06, 2007

New chapter and changes

I have just posted Chapter 11 of Daelia!

A note on Chapter 10: I have changed the end a little...I pretty much just removed the last two sentences because that particular cliffhanger ending just didn't work with the beginning of the next chapter.

So come read Chapter 11 and comment please! Thanks!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Grace

Things are happening in Ruma. Come check it out, and please let me know what you think. This is the last "pre-written" chapter that I have. After this, I'm still struggling to figure out final plots and how everything is supposed to fit together. Stories are like puzzles, and sometimes I feel as if I'm missing a few pieces! :) Anyway, here's a sneak preview of what is going on:

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fifteen gold,” the merchant said quickly.

“Fifteen? I buy my slaves for less than that,” Lady Ricald said disdainfully. “Eight.”

Zoe clenched her fist at the mention of slaves and found that she immediately disliked Lady Ricald strongly and intensely. She shot a quick glance at the little girl who stood at the lady’s side. Zoe suddenly noticed the poor quality of the brown shift the child wore and after comparing it to the long, well-made garment Lady Ricald was attired in, she concluded that the little girl was a slave.

Rage, strong and uncontrollable as a gale, blew through Zoe and she stalked forward. She did not know what she was doing, nor did she care; the depth of the fury that had suddenly sparked to life stunned her but she did not slow to analyze it. She was a mere pace from Lady Ricald when the slave girl turned her head to look at a neighboring fruit stall. Zoe glimpsed the girl’s sad, delicate profile and froze with shock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, there you have it. Are you curious? Go read it, then!