Ah, the life of a part-time writer
I begin each day with hopeful plans to write. I get to my day job, work hard, try to get in a few minutes of writing in my half-hour break, and then resume work. Upon reaching the quitting time, I am out the door, down to the car, and on the road. Depending on the day, I go straight to Curves to work out, or home to deal with getting ready for helping with Youth Group, or off on errands. The whole time while I am driving to which ever the destination of the day is, my head is full of my stories: how Jayne feels when she wakes and finds Liam gone; how I am going to stage the accident for Hadrian that has been causing me all manner of problems for a week now; and Wren and Arthus, who are barging in and demanding they are ready to begin.
I struggle not to start writing in my head. If I do, I wear out the idea. I am not sure how to explain it another way, but that is what happens. I compose the sentences in my head, telling the tale to myself as though I were typing it onto the screen. Then, just as if I had typed it onto the screen my brain refuses to go back. It as if it tells me, "That part is written and I am not writing it again." If I do write it down, the scene feels lifeless and drab.
So, once I do reach home, there is a list of things that I must do before I can sit down to write: a snack to eat, dogs to be taken out, bills to pay, chores to start...you get the picture. Once everything is under control, I finally sit down at the computer and begin. Then, lately, the words stall. I sit and write and everything I write either dies on the page or goes of in directions that I cannot use. Characters chat about nothing and everything, throw hysterics, act out of character, refuse to get to the point, and generally rebel. Ack!
Finally after struggling for an hour or so, I give up. I have four pages of unusable nonsense. I am irritated with one set of characters and down right mad at another, while Wren and Arthus are looking sweet and innocent over in the corner. Don't let them fool you. Arthus weaseled his way in the other day and I suddenly was contemplating his first scene. Then, before I knew what was happening, I was writing his first scene. I almost screamed when I realized what I was doing. Liam isn't finished, Hadrian is giving me fits, and Arthus, who isn't even the main character has coerced me into writing his first scene. I think I may be losing my mind.
I am sorely tempted to pick up one of my editing projects. Of course, if I did, the rest of you would attack me. Hey, I would attack me. Zez has so much life and is so complicated, I cannot walk away for fear that I shall never be able to pick her up again. Liam has been waiting for ever so long to be written and you are all waiting breathlessly for the next chapter. Wren and Arthus are standing over there looking at me accusingly. Wren's siblings, all except Aiden, are having they stories written and she is slightly ticked that I am not writing hers yet.
I am not telling you all this so that you can call the men in the white coats to drag me away. I am just letting you know that although I have no fruit to show for all my effort over the past week, except for a half written chapter of Zez and part of Arthus' first section. I have been trying. I have gone through this kind of thing before. I shall recover. It shall just take time...and patience...and tenacity... and...you get the point. Call it my suppressed artistic temperament rebeling to structure or my brain screaming for help. Whatever it is, it too shall pass. I just have to keep fighting.
Just watch. After I post this rant, something will come to me and suddenly I will not be able to keep up with the beautiful prose that floods my brain and oozes onto the screen. Oh, how I can hope.
Oh, I forgot to mention the job. Not the day job, but the inbetween hours job. It, unlike the writing, is going beautifully and I am enjoying it. Have I mentioned that I am crazy to be doing all this? If not, I am mentioning it now. Though I admit it, I will not stop. I love this stuff and somehow I shall fit it into my schedule.
- Rachel Rossano (To-be-author of Wren, when she manages to finish one of her other projects.)
I struggle not to start writing in my head. If I do, I wear out the idea. I am not sure how to explain it another way, but that is what happens. I compose the sentences in my head, telling the tale to myself as though I were typing it onto the screen. Then, just as if I had typed it onto the screen my brain refuses to go back. It as if it tells me, "That part is written and I am not writing it again." If I do write it down, the scene feels lifeless and drab.
So, once I do reach home, there is a list of things that I must do before I can sit down to write: a snack to eat, dogs to be taken out, bills to pay, chores to start...you get the picture. Once everything is under control, I finally sit down at the computer and begin. Then, lately, the words stall. I sit and write and everything I write either dies on the page or goes of in directions that I cannot use. Characters chat about nothing and everything, throw hysterics, act out of character, refuse to get to the point, and generally rebel. Ack!
Finally after struggling for an hour or so, I give up. I have four pages of unusable nonsense. I am irritated with one set of characters and down right mad at another, while Wren and Arthus are looking sweet and innocent over in the corner. Don't let them fool you. Arthus weaseled his way in the other day and I suddenly was contemplating his first scene. Then, before I knew what was happening, I was writing his first scene. I almost screamed when I realized what I was doing. Liam isn't finished, Hadrian is giving me fits, and Arthus, who isn't even the main character has coerced me into writing his first scene. I think I may be losing my mind.
I am sorely tempted to pick up one of my editing projects. Of course, if I did, the rest of you would attack me. Hey, I would attack me. Zez has so much life and is so complicated, I cannot walk away for fear that I shall never be able to pick her up again. Liam has been waiting for ever so long to be written and you are all waiting breathlessly for the next chapter. Wren and Arthus are standing over there looking at me accusingly. Wren's siblings, all except Aiden, are having they stories written and she is slightly ticked that I am not writing hers yet.
I am not telling you all this so that you can call the men in the white coats to drag me away. I am just letting you know that although I have no fruit to show for all my effort over the past week, except for a half written chapter of Zez and part of Arthus' first section. I have been trying. I have gone through this kind of thing before. I shall recover. It shall just take time...and patience...and tenacity... and...you get the point. Call it my suppressed artistic temperament rebeling to structure or my brain screaming for help. Whatever it is, it too shall pass. I just have to keep fighting.
Just watch. After I post this rant, something will come to me and suddenly I will not be able to keep up with the beautiful prose that floods my brain and oozes onto the screen. Oh, how I can hope.
Oh, I forgot to mention the job. Not the day job, but the inbetween hours job. It, unlike the writing, is going beautifully and I am enjoying it. Have I mentioned that I am crazy to be doing all this? If not, I am mentioning it now. Though I admit it, I will not stop. I love this stuff and somehow I shall fit it into my schedule.
- Rachel Rossano (To-be-author of Wren, when she manages to finish one of her other projects.)
posted by The Romany Epistles at 9:01 AM
2 Comments:
That was so entertaining to read! I can identify with much of it. Right now I feel like I have too much on my plate, and my mind is consumed with Sam when I just received an assignment I need to be working on. It is my last, but definitely not the easiest. I want to do a good job, and this assignment is really fun, but Sam keeps screaming for my attention. Despite that, I've written very little of him, and yet, I feel like I've made progress because I've been building things in my mind. Once in awhile, I like to play a scene out in my head over and over until I get it right. I play it like a movie, though, not like text so it comes out fresh on the page. Usually. ;-) But now I've gone off on a whole different topic. Anyhow, I liked reading about Rachel's writing life. :-D
~Britt
Ah, Rachel, I totally understand. It IS frustrating with multiple writing projects. For me, Zoe is demanding more attention, but my story has gone stale...I pray I will get better ideas soon, but I feel terribly disjointed with her, and she hates it. Merry and Will...alas, I have not truly abandoned them, but they still are waiting, waiting, waiting, for their story to be completed. I took on a short story/novella to write for my siblings for Christmas; I am writing a novella for five individuals friends of mine. CRAZYINESS! All the plots, characters, and problems swirl together in my mind! It's hard to keep up with it all!
Of course, like yourself, I know I will figure it out eventually. Stil, I completely understand what's going on with you. ;) But I also know that you'll do great whenever you sit down and write. You are one of the best, Rach. I love you!!!!!
Em
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